that of China: an account

A Chinese Haircut

Tue, 7 Jul 2009 16:53:53 +0800

Here's the story...

...It was the fifth of May, el Cinco de Mayo, and Dan had decided that he was willing to go vogue and embarked on this several hour adventure in the seat at a Chinese salon. While the pop music of the salon has been overdubbed, hopefully this short film conveys the experience well enough for anyone who would also dare give up ultimate control over their sense of style for an afternoon.

Please enjoy responsibly.

Trouble in Xinjiang

Mon, 6 Jul 2009 16:58:52 +0800

I’m sad to say such hatred exists and such violence can erupt between people who otherwise could have been friends, if not for some organizational sense of the need for war. The worst of it all, is I feel the effects only through the rising tone of hatred from friends and my loss of internet connectivity.

Sacked

Sun, 5 Jul 2009 16:57:53 +0800

After some discussion with my employer, it’s been decided I will take three weeks of leave prior to starting my bicycle trip through south China. I think this will ultimately be good.
- and that’s the news.

Fourth of July

Sat, 4 Jul 2009 16:56:42 +0800

Independence Day is over, but the celebration could not have involved a more well rounded perspective.

We had planned a BBQ, not quite all-American, but darn close. We contracted with a local ‘chuar’ guy, these are the guys who cook meat on a stick along the street, and he agreed to move it set up to our apartment complex where he’d cook for us and our party. Sweet! and he’d bring the beer too, in little kegs. Double Sweet! He was going to bring three tiny kegs. Triple Sweet! I had spent my morning in a confused haze of sickness from the meal the night before. Alexi’s going away meal. Someone opened a bottle of “biegeio” (spelling) and then I ended up ordering something on the order of 5 more bottles. Needless to say I was feeling very rotten the whole day after a long night of vomiting. Plus I woke up in a different city… but that’s a different story.

Overcoming the sickness through sparse sleep, bits of food, and lots of water, at about 5 o’clock I was ready to start this shin-dig. 7 PM arrived and so did a grip of guests, but still no chuar man, unfortunately. So I walked over to meet him and without much trouble he was at the apartment and cooking. Once the beers were poured and the meat was on the table we felt invincible, it was wonderful. Friends, BBQ, nice summer evening. You couldn’t ask for more. It was delightful! It reminded me so much of what the 4th of July is like at home. Problem free. After folks were fed we debuted the American Flag and everyone toasted. HOORAH!

Then, I was reminded why we celebrate the 4th. We take time out to acknowledge our freedom to live different lives from our neighbors. The freedom to not go to work on a monday. The freedom to have a party and the freedom to get angry when someone else has a party. And in the All-American sense of Freedom, we had our party and someone else got upset. Expected. Dan did a wonderful job of mitigating trouble early in the night and we moved ourselves along nicely, making sure not to make too much racket, avoiding loud songs and shouting, and we only played the national anthem 4 times, but it too was really soft. However, at about 9:30 without our fireworks (Which are sadly still in the packaging) there was a massive explosion and it was all in Chinese. Ting Bu Dong – I kept drinking my beer. But it was impossible to ignore, so minutes later we were all (35 people) involved.

Neighbors, not happy with our trodding upon the grass-lands, not happy with our gathering of foreigners, not happy with our consumption of alcohol and pork, and not happy with the American flag set-up, made it their goal to relay their frustration. The message came loud and clear as a tall chinese man wearing a very bright white suit, appeared in the dusk and began screaming at everyone present. Because it was Chinese I felt the freedom to ignore most of it, however, the bulk of our friends are Chinese and they all understood. A wide division surfaced and half the party made moves to ‘discuss’ the problem with the upset parties while the other half made a whole-hearted retreat. The BBQ was over. I was a bit sad. I put the flag back upstairs into safety, and briefly contemplated securing the Chinese flag to the pole and unveiling it, but some sort of better sense came over me (I think here Dan would exclaim some sort of miracle occurred) and I left it alone. Against my better judgement, but with the wishes of the majority of our friends we walked into the street, leaving our BBQ man behind to deal with our mess. Behind our neighbor continued to yell and scream. It was going on 10:30. Out the front gates we enjoyed some ice cream, U.S.A. and a great deal of loitering, U.S.A. however it was eventually clear to each of our guests, that the party was over and one by one they hailed cabs and drove home. Dan and I and a couple of close friends stayed to pick up the pieces, but were quite shocked when the pieces had turned into shards and smashed to bits.

After the party left, our BBQ man and his team (essentially his family) hurried to clean things up, they stacked chairs, put away food, and scurried as fast as they could, as the tall man in the white suit was becoming more and more irate. Many of the neighbors and our friends relayed their fear. I think in the states we call this assault. A tricycle flatbed was called over to move the gear and before it was loaded up, tires were slashed and the family was chased out of the complex. Their chairs and tables were then taken and locked away and the cool evening turned bitter cold. It began to rain. About half an hour later Dan and I were led back into the apartment complex with Arena, our friend from school who graciously helped to set the whole party up. We found many police cars had arrived and there was still quite the argument boiling, this time, however, at the public fountain. Dan and I took a seat behind some parked cars while Arena approached the trouble and began to sort through the mess. Half hour later, the BBQ man’s brother, an individual we had drank with on a previous night when we had first contracted with the BBQ man, was there and he was a police officer. SWEET! It took him about five minutes to tell us he’d fixed the problem and things would be okay, the next half hour was spent publicly humiliating and disparaging the residents of our neighborhood as ignorant and evil people where only one third are honest and good. I was embarrassed. We paid our BBQ man 700 RMB for the event, apologized deeply, and said good night. Dan and I walked up stairs, congratulated each other on the event and apologized to each other for the trouble then went to bed.

The next morning I read a slew of messages from friends thanking me for the party, celebrating the invitation to such an event, and in general hailing the Fourth of July as a wonderful holiday. I feel it couldn’t be closer to the truth. Friends and enemies gathered, we celebrated and shared our heritage with many people (including the Brits.) and we both accepted and refuted new ideas in a general sense of discussion and openness, like shouting. I hope our friends and neighbors are bold enough to not hold the ‘culture’ responsible for the actions of the individuals within it and can wait to pass judgment. I believe it’s possible.

- With that said, I’m a bit peeved the guy shouted so much, I would have offered him a beer, but I think that was part of the problem. :)

Cycling Tests 1a & 1b

Thu, 2 Jul 2009 17:04:41 +0800

Acquired bicycles, two Giant brand machines. Not really made to order. In fact, not at all. ”Want different petals? You’ll have to buy that other bike….want a different fork? different shifters? different handlebars? You’ll have to buy a different bike.” But hey, this isn’t a surprise. After all, this is a one size fits all industry, where frames and helmets are all the same. Remarkable. After a bit of personal negotiating I’ve convinced myself to buy the ‘high end’ bike. 2800 RMB, that’s about $400. Dan picked up the $200 bike. We’ll see which one wins the race. Shhh, he doesn’t know it’s a race yet.
With the bikes, during a very strange negotiation, as our ‘discount’ we were awarded computers. This negotiation essentially involved me saying, “come onnnn.” and them saying “No” and me saying “come onnnn” and them saying “no.” Then I reminded them about the dolla dolla bills we’ve been spending at their shop (these make bikes 4 & 5) and they said, okay, we can give you some equipment. So I think to myself, ‘what’s a trivial pieces of equipment that is important,’ and reply with “how about some lights?” and they say “NO. Too expensive!” and I say, “Really?!? lights are too expensive? Okay, well how about your suggestion.” So then they say, “How about computers?” Well, I figured computers were more hassle with installation and cost more than a couple of blinky lights, but they said it. So now we’ve got some computers. They’re a bit junky, Dan’s reads km quicker than mine andwe’ll certainly see that difference by the end of our journey, but in general, they’re good. They read the same speed. So we’ve been able to track our progress this far making our test rides quite effective. Yesterday was a 110 km day, today we went for time and made about 60 km in under 2 hours, we feel good about these tests. Our back ends are a bit sore and our legs stern with the new hobby, but in general, we can still climb the stairs to our apartment so we’re doing alright.
We had some bags made (Bright Orange) and have completed one ride with them on the bikes loaded with gear. We’ll have them back to the shop for a couple of adjustments and then should be good. While the material is waterproof, the stitching I think has compromised this feature, but perhaps a bit of glue or tape will fix this. Because they’re bright orange, we’re quite the flashy duo riding through town sporting hot pants, driving tall bikes, and the only two goons wearing helmets. But this is great for visibility, thumbs up & when I can’t get my foot out of my petal-basket and fall into a crowd of folks at an intersection, I can just get up and smile and say “Ni How.” Sometimes being a celebrity is a-okay.
In other news we’re holding a celebration on Saturday (July, 4 2009) for ‘no particular reason.’ And everyone is welcome to come. It will be complete with fireworks and BBQ (China style) and flags to boot! See you there!

Project Loki

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:04:46 +0800

Project Loki, as named sometime after we started work on it, was a work put together in less than three days and with a supprisingly minimal amount of man hours. It was well focused and executed. We only sustained minor injuries, and, as WE believe, yielded fantastic results. I hope you enjoy & please share.
P.S. .. someone ask Franti if I can use his song for this.. I forgot to mention it last time we spoke.
In Other News:
Dan and I acquired our bicycles today, ordered saddle bags, planned our detailed route, and have confirmed another couple of hosts along the way. More news to come as we create it.

Neighborhood Fishing

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:04:16 +0800

A while back we set out on a plan to enhance our neighborhood, now that it was finally spring time. I’d say we accomplished our goal, 60%. That’s more than half. There’s still hope, but then again, winters are harsh here. I who knows. Perhaps turtles will find a new home beneath the public waters.

Change of Address

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:27:51 +0800

For more posts visit http://www.thecalifornias.org

On the Road & Website Migration.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:17:53 +0800

In preparation for a month on the road I’m migrating my webposts to something which is accessible online. While I still have one month to prepare for this reality, I will be blogging from the new site in the mean time in order to break in the new system and work out all the kinks. The neat part is I’ve also migrated all of my previous blog entries, and some of the comments onto the new site (minus those found in these posts.) Hopefully by the end of the month I’ll have all of these posts migrated as well, as well as the new podcast address up and working.
That new site is the root of this one. Simply
http://www.thecalifornias.org
A) Why did you move away from Blogger in the first place?
A) Blogger is unreliable in China. When we first arrived it was blocked, then it was allowed again, and now it’s blocked again. So rather than mess with email posts and frustration with media uploads I moved to the computer based iWeb platform. It worked well enough, minus a couple of SNAFUs I enjoyed using it.
A) Why are you changing sites again?
A) As noted in the message above, I want to be able to update my site while on the road. I cannot do that using iWeb, so I must migrate to a new system.
A) What system are you using? Where is it?
A) I’m using a server-side client called WordPress. It’s a blogging platform that is widely used and supported. While I only have about 2 weeks expierence working with it, it seems like a robust program that may in fact replace my use of iWeb in the future. However, only time will tell.
A) How did you get to be so awesome?
A) Practice.
If you’ve got any other questions, or see an errors I don’t seem to be fixing, let me know. John@thecalifornias.org
(Photo: A Pagoda of Chairs I constructed as part of my children’s English lesson)

Side Car Fun

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:40:20 +0800

Imagine … no, believe this all happened. Now close your eyes. (hopefully someone is reading this aloud).
Your buddy had this box in his driveway. It’s a big crate looking thing. It’s all wooden. He/she’s standing there with a crow-bar and saying, “go ahead, open it. have a look.” The temptation overwhelms you, you’re soaked. You look up to find it’s raining. It’s been raining, but you hadn’t noticed, you just thought you perspired a lot. You tear away at the crate. Your anticipation catches up with your sense and you mash your finger. The blood diluted by the buckets falling over your head only remind you of the humanity in all this emotion. The box finally falls open and you wake up a week later, still wet with excitement.
You get a call while you’re at work. You make a few promises about meeting up after and completely muff up the time. You’re off by an hour and your phone rings reminding you of your mistake for an hour. The minute strikes and you are in and out of the elevator like an Aerosmith quickie. The taxi delivers you right to where you last left the box and there she is. Waiting, as any good friend would. There are some negotiations, but at last you’re a priority, so you’re one of the four. A seat at the front. The green metal wraps around your body, almost form fitted. Your knees are on your chest and seem to pulse with each heart beat, but this seems all too natural. Once started, there is no undoing.
The Chinese motor runs loud, and it’s close to your ear. The road runs below your feet, only inches away. Bugs fly through your teeth, and the wind whistles through your ears. It’s tough to imagine a better hobby. It’s truly fantastic.
...
Really it was a great way to see the city on a warm night. Four little ducks sitting on a fast moving bike. Thumbs were going up all over, I couldn’t keep track. & every taxi driver was our new friend. Dan now needs to have a serious talk with some friends of his regarding legitimacy. Because I proclaim it Bay Area Perfect

Yurtistry, with Dan and John

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:04:14 +0800

A short trip into the northern glasslands of China with our visitor Matt. We arrived, set up in a yurt, went out for a ‘ride’ on some horses, returned to find our things disheveled by some sheep, moved yurts, ate some dinner, wrestled some mongolians, played with some cows, chased some chickens, drank, watched the stars, went to bed, listened to the rain on canvas above our heads, woke up, drank milk, rode the motorbike to the road, caught the bus, fell asleep, and arrived back in Hohhot.

It was like going to Colorado for the day. Not a bad way to spend a night. It was quiet.

We recorded this while out and about in one of the tourist camps full of yurts.

Plenty of photos available on Dan’s photo site. As directed to by the front page.

Hiking Through Hohhot

Tue, 2 Jun 2009 13:47:28 +0800

Perhaps we’re at the end of our rope, or perhaps we’ve finally found something else to hold on to in life, but Dan and I have begun and maintained a nice streak of extracurricular activities that shy away from visiting various clubs and bars and sucking down the worthless beer of China just for giggles.

Finding great joy in the hills and mountains of Hohhot, this is one place we are finding ourselves on a frequent basis. In the last three weeks, we’ve managed to get out of the city 5 times while still showing up to work and successfully recruited a group of eight in last weeks adventure upward.

In conjunction with these walks into the hills, we’ve also enjoyed a vigor for interacting with our community via good works and lots of smiles. For us our actions are justified through ChinaClown - for the rest of the community, it seems our actions are justified as foreigners. Our most recent endeavor was met with a standing ovation as we serenaded the lonely and bored trinket vendors of the resounding gorges park (a place of sand dunes) with a classically flamenco ukea-john show. Previous interactions were equally welcomed and enjoyed.

On all accounts, our ventures have been duly documented and if not for the untimely dismantling of ChinaClown.com I would be working on and presenting a number of short films in tribute to each of these activities, however as it is, I will be again spending my time building a website.

Look for posts to come regarding:
- Fishing with Neighbors
- Sand Dunes & Camel Races
- Hiking & Caving with Friends
- A Ride into the Hills and Back
as well as many more songs and videos...

Until then, be safe.

Our Musical Talents

Mon, 1 Jun 2009 13:45:44 +0800

Often we’re asked how we became such good musicians. The answer: Magic!

Here is a short bit of insight into how some of our music is made with this video about making a custom glass slide for playing stringed instruments.

Remember always wear eye-protection and use good judgement. Enjoy.

Bicycles! (from the past)

Sat, 30 May 2009 13:46:16 +0800

A long while back Dan and I bought some bicycles. Two ‘very nice’ in-town single-speed cruisers. They had baskets and racks and petals, that stayed on for the first week. We used and abused those bikes. I think myself more so than Dan.

My bike was borrowed a number of weeks ago and still has not been returned. Dan’s bike is available to any visitors as we both now sport fancy Giant mountain bikes.

Here is a short film in dedication to those bikes and their first journey out. Original Music by 蛋糕.

Enjoy

Vote for Hohhot.

Fri, 29 May 2009 21:53:13 +0800

Aston Corporate has finally put it’s pieces together and erected a live voting site for the various recruitment videos regions have put together. Remember ours, way back at the end of March? Here’s another look if you’ve forgotten.

Now we’re going to need your Honest To Goodness Opinion and a couple clicks with a pointer in your favorite browser.

HERE
We are nestled up here in the North, so look for Hohhot under the North and South Region category (yeah, I know, way to use your brain grouping school Aston, but go with it.) If you click on the link to view the video it will bring you back here. But go for it. Then We’ll need you to click-click-click-a-roo and then tell your friends.

This IS a competition for hard earned Chinese dolla-bills. So it’s serious. Remember. Don’t finish reading this, instead click
HERE

My Domain

Sun, 17 May 2009 22:56:08 +0800

Our projects have finally reached their critical mass requiring - or some would suppose, encouraging, their own domain. Projects so extensive, particular, enthusiastic that they’ll need they’re own set of analytics, advertisements, business cards, billboards, and general buzz. A buzz much larger than this site is capable of handling. In response, we’ve decided to create that space in order to encourage growth and independence. Our chick is finally leaving the nest.

Welcome to ChinaClown.com

- our official GoLive date is set for June 1, 2009 at High Noon, Beijing Standard Time.

Evening Recording Session

Thu, 14 May 2009 22:01:26 +0800

Rain poured down all night and into the morning. Our plans for a massive mountain bike ride was heavily diluted and we sprung onto plan B. Dan and I rearranged the house a bit and I moved my queen bed into the ‘lobby’ as dan dismantled his and took ownership of mine. Only one broken glass later we were moving parts of Dan’s bed down stairs and across the ‘quad’ into Becci’s extra room, from which we were extracting my new single bed. Still stiff as a board and with a few broken planks I was happy to have more space in my already large spacious corner of the apartment. Dan graciously stuck to the plan and heaved beds up and down stairs and within the hour we were all cleaned up and tucked back into our apartment.

About an hour later we called B to get some lunch and revise our previous plans. The suggested in town bicycle ride accompanied by small shopping stops and lunch hit home and we embarked. The rain fell harder as a result. Dan and I were wearing shorts. My hands were cold, but the weather was warm enough.

A man passed us along the way carrying five locked bicycles in his bike-truck. I wanted to kick the thief’s teeth in. Dan and Becci asked me to relax. I held on as long as I could and then followed their advice. We continued on.

Parking our bikes we successfully obtained a new sleeping bag for me, a head lamp (for me), lunch (for all of us), a hand drier, and a soap dispenser (for the school). Feeling successful we stopped at the school to drop our goods and then jumped down stairs to pick up a new phone for me, where upon Dan lost his mind and Becci followed quickly.

Less than 30 minutes later we were in the apartment drinking and writing songs. Close to 4 hours later Becci picked up her keyboard and Dan put away his guitar and we called it a night. The number of tracks recorded exceeding 15. This is the finest of them all. Un-edited. Un-cut. Un-professional. Yet fantastically awesome. I hope you do enjoy.

NOTES REGARDING THE SONG:
Daye (大爷）Pronounced something like Dye-yea, is translated to mean uncle, but has context of any elder and respect man. Strangers whom you meet at shops, stores, help you with directions, or watch after your things can all be referred to as daye. In this case Daye is our school’s night watch man and security guard, handy man, janitor, and general go to guy. And he’s got the most personality of all employees at Aston, including myself. With the most respect, this song was written and recorded, and we all hope to make him as happy and comfortable as we possibly can. Hat’s off to our Daye.

Project Inventory Blowout

Tue, 12 May 2009 23:02:08 +0800

It’s important, Dan says and I agree, to keep inventory low and maintain our project momentum. This project has been on the shelf for about a month now, collecting dust, requiring a great deal of polishing, and weighing down our All American Creativity and Freedom Balloon Ride Festival. Therefore, in order to save resources and set ourselves free, we have decided to pull it off the shelf and we’re passing the savings on to you!

Fortunately, with this number out of my hair, I can now spend time on grooming new projects and my mustache. I’m excited about our upcoming projects and hope you are looking forward to our next quality feature. Stay tuned.

Song Background:
This little number came while walking back from the office about two months ago. Settled nicely into our neighborhood, we continually received the attention of every single individual within sight. This confused us, we no longer felt alien, in fact we corroborated that our comfort level was that of our native home. It was becoming more and more difficult to make distinctions between our global locals. Burdened by our chnscienceness, we felt there was only one way to express ourselves. This song is it.

A Library

Thu, 7 May 2009 11:58:47 +0800

Sitting in the office Wednesday afternoon, I was watching Los Super Campeones. Matthew approached me and asked if I wanted to truck up to Erdos on Thursday to deliver some books to a school with him and some other Aston staff. I thought it sounded fun and agreed. He then informed me we’d be leaving that evening as soon as I was done with class. I anticipated I was now obligated to something quite complex, but interesting. This was going to be a long day. 26 hours after leaving Hohhot, we arrived back home and I went immediately into trying to cut film and filter through the photos.

We took a traveling bus out to Erdos (know also as Dongsheng, 东胜) were we arrived at about 12 AM on the 7th. We slept hard and woke up to cold showers and a meager breakfast, but still we were quite excited. We made a a quick stop and a tour of the Erdos Aston school and then the bus out to the school pulled up. A slick looking mini bus, with plenty of seating for all of us. Everyone sat down and we got the wheels rolling. Stopping a couple of times to pick up various members of media, TV, Radio, and Paper. An interesting and convoluted 4 hours later we arrived at the Ma Chang Hao primary school in the Erdos Da Qi district. The site was dusty, dry, and reminded me of the United States South West and Northern Mexico. I really wanted to surf, telling the Erdos staff that where I was from looked exactly like this, except on the other side of that little hill there is the beautiful blue ocean. I kind of got a little dizzy.

With our first looks the school seemed desolate and barren. A large empty court yard bisected with a small building and a couple of trees poking through the bricks. but then it occurred to me that campuses are designed to fit people, not empty space, so I suspended my judgements until a more appropriate time. After a bit of generic wandering we were ushered into a small cafeteria where we enjoyed a full, delicious, and hearty meal with the staff of the school. And quickly there after began work preparing for the ‘presentation.’

With a bus load of folks, things are done quickly, but sometimes a bit hastily. I think we moved chars in and out of the library 4 times. Thankfully they were light chairs and we needed the exercise. A bit of cleaning, some decorations, the temporary removal of a coal-burning central heating unit and some table cloths put the room right into order. Now the sun was beating down and I visions of a quick session in the imaginary swell frequently fogged my mind. I sat down and drank some water.

Once we were ready, someone said the word and someone else acted on it and magically all the kids appeared, dutifully filling the vacuum of the courtyard and satisfying my need for judgement. This place was alright.

The kids then all lined up, a short speech was made, mostly for the press, and then we passed books out like it was candy, and the kids took them like it was money! They grabbed at the offerings and shouted with excitement, big smiles abounded. I was astonished. Probably because I couldn’t read the Chinese texts they had received and didn’t know about the awesome characters which built this culture. Clearly there was something I was missing. But, yeah, I mean, books are cool.

After the ceremony, and when all the books were gone, we all filled the small library and passed books back and forth and around and around. I think this library thing was going to work. After a bit of time we pulled out a flat and bald basket ball and enticed a good chunk of kids out to the dirt basketball court for some good wholesome football. About an hour later, it was time to take some photos and then get on the road.

While our first impressions were of timid foreign children, our last impressions were of enthusiastic, friendly, neighbors capable of being anyone or anyplace in the world. I relished in the fact that once again after only a short time all impressions of difference melts away and all I’m left with is pieces of individual characters associated with great moments in time and interesting places that look remarkably like home.

In short... watch the video.

Metamorphosis

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:18:46 +0800

Metamorphosis can describe the seasonal changes in Hohhot, the emotional transition of living someplace new, or the simple changing of ones appearance into something completely new and often times much much cooler.

The last few weeks have been full of change. Kindergarten is becoming easier. I’ve moved the office onto a group calendar & email system. I’ve begun a regiment of significantly less alcohol and significantly more exercise. I’ve built the confidence in my Chinese skills to talk with strangers, order food, and make purchases. Dan’s lady arrived into town. The winds have begun to blow. I bought turtles. My ginger-mint has taken root. and I’ve started going to the park. But in all fairness, these things are only trivial compared to the changes in my closet.

A Desk

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:28:59 +0800

it’s too late to write.. come back soon.

I got paid today.

What's in the water?

Sat, 4 Apr 2009 11:35:22 +0800

Cocaine? Calcium? Tin-oxide? or tasty tasty grape-drink concentrate?

In the first week we were here I discovered a murk to our boiled water. We kind of ignored it for a bit, but then this murk seemed to settle out and collect at the bottom of my glass regularly. We got into the habit of tossing the last quarter of the water because it usually contained quite high concentrations of this stuff, of which did not taste like orange juice or chocolate, so we did not care to imbibe. After a bit of pondering and observing a really murky glass of water or a fresh glass of boiled water, I noticed the particulate was never actually dissolved in the water. Unlike a supersaturated salt solution, there was no solution, just dirty water that separated after a bit of time. What I originally thought was a high concentration of salt in our water now appears to be different - or so I believe. More so, looking at a glass of water poured directly off the tap doesn’t seem to show signs of collecting the same solids and therefore it appears that this comes from water boiled in our kettle. So I inspect the kettle.

Earlier this week I boiled down about four liters of water in the kettle - don’t tell dan. The house was quite comfortable, full of steam and wonderfully humidified. Once the kettle was sufficiently dried out I spooned out all the dry powder from the bottom of the thin metal. (Pictured above) Yet, after a short attempt to burn it off the spoon on the range, I found my spoon to deteriorate quicker than the powder, quickly followed by the burner ring it’s self. I relished in the made in China stamp that abounds.

So, here’s the question: What is it? I suspect many things. In fact I’ve since become quite suspicious of everything. Perhaps it’s the kettle quietly deteriorating while we boil water in it, or perhaps the water contains a substance that is binding with the metal of the kettle, and then dropping out of solution. Perhaps it’s the carrots conspiring with the soy sauce to upset my bowels. I’ve even begun to suspect Dan, though my bowels don’t have issue yet.

While quite limited in scientific supplies, suggestions of flame test are under consideration.

http://www.chemguide.co.uk/inorganic/group1/flametests.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flame_test

Other experiments currently under observation:
- Cold tap water poured into the cleaned out kettle and set aside.
- Alternative pot boiling tap water.

The Weekend Begins Again

Thu, 2 Apr 2009 22:14:59 +0800

As the weekend begins agin Dan and I reflect on a job done. We have yet to find out if our boss actually received the video or has watched it, however, it’s not important. What is important is that we’ve begun brainstorming our next projects and they’re going to be substantial. Using our daily experiences, our studio, and pulling from local and foreign inspirations we anticipate producing shorts which maintain both increases in technical quality as well as substantive quality. - I feel it’s important I convey my enthusiasm.

More so, in anticipation of becoming, well simply put, HUGE POP stars of China, I have been educating myself and experimenting with the dissemination of information and media here on this site using many google services - as it may have been noticed there are advertisements on many of these pages now. I assure you these are for testing purposes only (unless of course y’all start earning me money!)

So, as things go, that’s the update. Here’s to health, energy, and the weekend, maybe I’ll get some new jeans here soon.

Recruitment

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:18:20 +0800

We were asked to do some recruitment for Aston-Hohhot. So we looked into it and here were the terms: Make a recruitment video for the Hohhot branch of the company as a tool to recruit new teachers with. It was to be a competition. (the other schools had know about this for months already) First prize was 2000 RMB. The other videos are on YouTube. We checked them out. We thought we had a chance. We began brainstorming ideas putting down pages full of notes, hours of tea and cakes, and really difficult work. Really.

After two weeks of scripting, filming, and producing, we feel that TODAY we finally have the perfect representation of both city, society, and school here in Hohhot, China and we present it to you now, so please enjoy.

Copyright John Patrick Mizell 2009, All Rights Reserved.

Recruitment Audio

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:24:53 +0800

Audio from our Recruitment video. For your pleasure.

New additions.

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 22:09:12 +0800

Look at what I bought! It’s a hammer!

And check the video!

Bicycles, Fiddles, & the Life

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:48:55 +0800

Let’s see, since creating the wondrous Ji’nan video things have fallen silent. I contracted a cold after that thorough week and have yet to fully recover. Dan and I have settled deeper into our routine and lifestyle.

We’re working diligently on producing another short film for those of you following the podcast. We deeply apologize for the lag time, however, as our quality increases, so does the planning, shooting, and production work. Thank you for your patience & enthusiasm.

Every day I enjoy the new valencies of the great firewall of China and most recently used this in order to enjoy The President on Leno. Enjoyable. Yes. However, other opportunities include eagerly introducing my students to wikipedia as well as news articles from the BBC, LA & NY times, Science News, & the Economist as well as a host of individuals to the various scenes I carry on this site.

About a week ago Dan and I found a proper massage parlor which helped to work the kinks out of life, just enough to get by until the next time we show up. I think the woman who worked me over used only her elbow, thumb, and the heel of her hand. Tears flowed freely as I faced downward, teeth clinched and invisible to all but the dust upon the floor (in order to save face of course). After I felt great!

Yesterday we hit up the FREE Inner Mongolia Museum where we took a couple photos and videos. The highlight was a massive dinosaur in the middle of the hall standing more than two stories tall. I’m positive it was a brachi-a-sarus-rex - the meanest of all herbivores. Other highlights are shown in photo form to the right.

Earlier this week we took a journey down the street with one of our new good friends, Arena (a Chinese teacher who does her best to show us the ropes and catch us up, usually she catches my class room falls too.) We successfully avoided buying from the self-admitted bike thief and purchased two brand new, bona-fied 200 yuan bicycles (your basic $40 Target bike) of which have been invaluable to our sanity and daily satisfaction levels. We even took a short trip North and essentially out of the city to eat lunch and see the city.

In conjunction to our big bicycle purchase, I woke up two days ago with a nack. Yeah, “the Nack.” Except I’ve got very little to take apart out here. In fact I can’t even find a piece of wood to saw in half, let alone a spare blender to take apart - although every day this computer gets a bit closer as the exclusive piece of ‘machinery’ around. Hmmmm.. maybe the refrigerator first... yes. Fortunately during a solo city bicycle recon trip I managed to work in on Sunday I have identified the local ‘junk yard’/‘used furniture & things shop where I anticipate spending more time. - I digress, I woke up with a nack. This nack was for chunes (Tunes). My Uke currently under duress with a broken string (soon to be fixed by changed out guitar strings from Dan (fingers crossed)), I searched my mind long and hard for my next project feasible without a compound miter saw and set my sites straight. I spent time online doing pre-purchase-requisites and with my note book full of useless information pertaining to acquisition, I turned to Dan and asked permission. “Dan,” I said, “I feel I must include you in my latest intention, so that you may reasonable protest as my cohabitation partner.” Dan, paused what he was doing, tilted his head slightly to his left, my right, squinted his eyes, and paused as if to intimidate the next sentence out of my soul. Fortunately I’ve dealt with the dark powers of Dan’s force and successfully deflected. I patiently waited for his head to right it’s self and the continued. “I’m going to.. I would like to, with your permission, purchase and learn to play the fiddle... yes, I’d like to do that,” I concluded. Dan replaced his jaw to reflect acknowledgement of the situation and situated himself to process the multitude of predictable possible outcomes regarding this new information. I feared my own failed calculations and then confirmed that there were none. Dan cautiously replied “okay, my only caveat is that you do it Today.”

I packed my wallet and we walked directly to the music store where I purchased the only violin they had on the shelf, a full sized, 4/4, Chinese made, introductory violin which even the store curator was fearful of, for 600 yuan. about $90, less than my Trombone cost 7 years ago. I felt good about my purchase. If this sucker left me in the dumps I would have no problem leaving it with a local kid to torture his parents with as my contribution to the PRC.

Less than 24 hours later, after about a 4 hour tuning session, Dan walked into my room, stopped me, shook my hand and said “Sir, you’ve just made the first pleasant noise on that thing since buying it less than 24 hours ago. Congratulations.” Where upon he promptly turned around and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

I’m learning good and every time I look at it I simile thinking about the racket I make for the neighbors. I say - good on ya.

Ji'nan Hide & Seek

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 10:00:55 +0800

A film - take a peek into our life as we travel south to the city of Ji’nan last week.

Good Times...

English School Blues

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 17:37:23 +0800

At the end of last weekend, I was enthusiastic and motivated to tackle new challenges and build on old strengths. After this past week of travel and the weekend of teaching that followed, my motivation and energy for the sport has suffered.

This past weekend was a series of unplanned lessons, increased class sizes, botched presentations, zero energy, and shots to the face. Each mentally planned lesson suffered severely due to my lack of sleep and with every failed activity my faith in the subsequent drills was diminished. The ultimate failure came when I found myself with a class full of eight adults, 2 of which I had seen the week previous, prepared with a lesson that required the dead office printer and 4 copies shy of books purchased in Beijing on Monday. Compounding this was the new dispersion of ability, new difficulty in understanding and the silent observations of my boss in the corner.

After class I packed my things, notified the staff I would be leaving and any unfinished business would need to wait until Sunday, whereupon Dan and I arrived home to cook ourselves a delicious meal, down a glass of scotch, eat some Oreos and swiftly fall asleep.

Except for the fact that my students on Sunday are no taller than a toad, it was no different. Class activities perpetually fell flat, air time silent, and students started off every class even more rambunctious than I could possibly comprehend. Lunch started when one child rocketed my marker at my face. I went straight home and fell asleep.

My last class of the day received very little quality in their lesson and it’s off to drinks now. Tomorrow will be our first real day off in a while and I think I’ll take it easy and slow.

I can do this, but I’ve got to have my rest otherwise the ... “what is this?” .. “it’s a DRAGON!” ...comes out.

Bath House Exfoliation

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:40:21 +0800

We were back in town... tired... Dan was craving a massage. We went out looking.

Perhaps you were unaware, but we live in this particular district. Pink lights illuminate the street starting at dusk and shopkeepers sit at their doors waiting for customers. Activity is often muted, but decisive. Shoppers rarely peruse, but purchase instead, frequently, too eager, pre-sales can be seen through the front windows just beneath the hanging postered product images.

While not every parlor in our neighborhood is apart of this product sector, it may be evident why Dan and I are a bit intimidated to walk straight into any massage shop care blanc. This evening we made a significant attempt to seek out a shop of reputation. While our initial inquiry was unsuccessful, we followed a couple into a brightly lit establishment, about the size of a dozen side-street establishments and were promptly and warmly greeted by several young ladies wearing formal night gowns. We couldn’t necessarily judge the establishment based on our first impression as this could still go either way, however, with the help of Dan’s language skills we determined we’d push over our shoes in exchange for some blue sandals and slide around a small curtain off to the side. I really liked those shoes however after the past week in Ji’nan they could really use a wash, I wondered how full service this place was and if I’d get my shoes back clean as new.

We were handed a small towel and a bracelet with a number on it just before we popped around the curtain where upon we were presented with a small locker room. Dan’s locker was immediately on the left, while I took a bit more time to search for mine. After the first challenge of opening our lockers with the remote sensor located in our bracelets, we then were met with the challenge of determining what to do with our lockers at which point Dan, looking straight into the emptiness of his new cubic property, says, “Now what.. is this a skivvies place?” Where upon I get to reply, “For some reason I don’t think so.” In looking for my locker I had the privilege of noticing the collection of men showering just beyond the curtain, and from my perspective it appeared that nothing else existed. Awaiting a translator to ask the most embarrassing questions of ‘what the hell do we do now?’ I did as the Chinese and used my time to enjoy a hot shower and some fancy shampoo. Where upon Dan followed suit, until we noticed a general flow from individuals. Take a shower then move around the newly discovered corner where you’re greeted by a handful of gentlemen who either point you someplace or hand you a towel, or insist you take a seat on their massage table. Nobody else in the establishment had too big of a grin, so I wasn’t too intimidated, but there’s always that subtle fear when you walk into a situation and can’t communicate with anyone AND you’re not wearing pants... I suppose this was no exception to the rule. In fact, I imagine the individual who wrote that rule probably frequented this place, because, as Dan would agree, I think we collectively defined awkward.

Obeying orders (after all we were paying for this whole getup) we both sat down on side-by-side tables dowsed in comfortably warm water, covered with plastic and then washed again. It was a nice place to catch a nap had the lighting been a bit lower. Once we were down we could see only the simplicity of the ceiling and then the periodic head of our attendant. Then the fellow opened up this package and put it onto his hand. At first I didn’t really know what was coming, how to escape if needed, and weather or not to try and put my pants back on before fleeing or just going to the door. It was about 9:00 PM and the temperature outside was -13’C, I’m not sure how far I, or my loins, would make it out there. I refocused on relaxing and looking at the ceiling.

The massage began. With a coarse sponge glove, my attendant proceeded to exfoliate the ‘bageezes’ out of my skin, back and forth starting at my neck. Like having a straight razor shave, it was delightful to have someone pay attention to such detail however horrifying in the same respect that the slightest mistake would render my neck bloody. In this case the fear wasn’t blood, but my absolute unfamiliarity with exposure at this level.

The exfoliation proceeded as planned, and my anticipation seemed to lag behind just ever so slightly. I don’t know how explicit I’d like to reflect here, but if I were to count, my general feeling is that close to 95% of my body was tended to, 5% of which was a surprise, and the remaining 4.5% was covered with hair (and I have a beard). After turning over once and then getting another splash of warm water Dan and I dried off and were directed to put on some really fancy paper clothes. They were quite stylish. We were then directed upstairs, moseying a bit too much, they found that we were not the most adept at speaking and understanding Chinese and Dan’s hand was grabbed by another attendant and our clip was accelerated, so much that I lost Dan as we wound through the hallways upstairs. My sandals were too big and I had a bear of a time walking in them, especially up stairs, but I seemed to entertain all the female attendants as I practically jogged in my paper clothes and giant sandals, as if I’d put on my dad’s clothes and pretended to go to work that day.

We arrived shortly to a couple of private rooms, Dan in his and I in mine. The beds were soft and they had heaters. I was quite comfortable. However it was clear this wasn’t what we’d signed up for, nor what we were wiling to pay for. But I enjoyed a bit of a nap as I listened to Dan in the other room working through a discussion on why the private super-massage was not within our policy, primarily due to cost. I knew the spit was over when I was ushered out of my room and promptly back the same way we came. I began to recognize art on the wall and could have probably navigated myself there and back several more times. I felt good about this, again, because if I needed to escape I should have a plan. Like being a girl at a frat-party, except my girlfriend was definitely not in control.

Back past the giggling girls and the goofy staircase we found ourselves in a large lounger filled room with a T.V. and a number of male and female attendants. The T.V. was on CCTV4 - national new in Chinese. Along the front of the room Dan and I found extreme comfort in seeing four old women getting their feet massaged. The female attendants all wore mini-skirt school girl outfits, but that didn’t seem to bother the women and I have a suspicion it didn’t bother the men that were their either. Dan and I ordered some hot water and waited for our turn. About an hour later, and deep into a overdubbed Disney live action movie about superhero kids it came to my turn. A young lady dressed in a suit arrived at my lounger and proceeded to bungle the whole operation.

I had been next to Dan as he received his massage, which had started thirty minutes prior, and this lady was nimble. Dan hardly moved. He would lay there watching T.V. as she would climb over and sit behind him to massage his head, then his arms, and then she climbed down to his legs and was really going to town. No funny business. My new friend was clumsy and green and seriously, suit-pants? What, are you from the front desk? sheesh. After about five minutes of fiddling with a pillow I got the weakest head rub, I don’t think she could have combed my hair at that rate. This was followed by the worlds most painful neck stabbing and then a noisy set of movements that may have involved my arms and back. A long bit of stomach gnashing made me wish I had avoided the water earlier so I rolled over onto my stomach and enjoyed a bit of a nap as the rest of what I paid for slipped down to my toes without a trace.

Still in paper pants Dan and I were shuffled back downstairs to our lockers where we dawned our proper clothing, collected our little towel (for what purpose we are still naive) and paid our dues, more than twice that which we anticipated. We dawned our shoes, which still scuffed and smelled of feet, and walked about with a bit of disgust at the price and couple of chuckles at the experience.

It was nice, but we probably won’t return.

Off to Ji'nan and Back Again

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:01:55 +0800

Bookended by 20 hour train rides, the trip in the middle became more than we could have anticipated. While Ji’nan was marketed to us as a holiday excursion, in reality it was where we required to go in order to register with the government and receive our passports. So we made the best of it and met some neat people associated with Aston down there too.

In short, we departed directly after Sunday’s classes and spent the week in the city, arriving back in Hohhot, in the late morning on Friday. Yet it was a week spent in a city that will not allow the short to be representative.

Our departure from Hohhot went without issue. We met up at Aston and then caught a cab to the train station where we picked up tickets, then went out for dinner and promptly returned to the station. Moments later we were at our bunks on the train and had eight beers to drink. Indeed, no issue. Traveling through the night, we arrived into Beijing where we purchased our second round of tickets which would take us further south into Ji’nan and consequentially spent the remainder of the morning enjoying Beijing’s bookstore, McDonnalds, and general pedestrian traffic after which we returned to the train station and boarded for the second leg of travel. Here the day began to deteriorate and everyone became a bit worn.

In general coach for this six-hour stint, we were surprised at the quantity of SRO tickets that were sold. We had to wiggle our way through the length of the train in order to find our purchased seats, thankfully, where upon we ousted twice as many people as there were seats - creating a bit of guilt for my conscience as a sat luxuriously one to a seat. Once the train was underway folks began to settle down and find their leaning spot and the whole of the train cleared up, however as the ride pushed along the air within the car slowly thickened with sweat, heat, and steam and finally the riotous voices of passengers demanding a window be opened. Dan and I, well trained in the art of high heat survival, moved into a forced catatonic-state in order to wait it out, however soon windows were opened and passengers disembarked at their stops clearing both the car and air. Remarkably, at this point the air conditioning (which must have previously NOT been installed) was activated and aside from general strain of sitting, the ride continued without issue. We were quite pleased to step into the Ji’nan air - regardless. Our travels were temporarily over, and our holiday in sunny Ji’nan had started.

Evening now, the sky was dark and we were greeted by an Aston associate who ushered us to a nice Aston van and delivered us to our hotel, whereupon we enjoyed a bit of scuffle regarding passports and checking in as well as a few more beers and then it was up to the room and back down for some dinner with the Ji’nan Aston staff. A short local meal and we put down for the night.

Up early, we called up Becci and picked a direction to walk. Today we’d see the city!

Tuesday was, I think our most depressing impression of the city and yet one of the most rewarding. The sky was grey with smog, the weather was chilly - much colder than the forecasted 16’C and it bit through the light layers I had packed. Today was our day to see the sights and yet through a cold grey hungover lens, the whole scene was shabby and muted. The brightest color of the day came from TV. However, we made a game of it and encouraged ourselves to keep chins high. With three people, someone can always share a positive attitude.

It took a bit of time, but we finally understood that which put Ji’nan on the map. After a good look around it was clear. Ji’nan is the city of rubble. Within 10 minutes of walking it was evident that approximately 60% of sites along the road were piles of brick, concrete, wire, wood, iron, scrap, and garbage. Dirt was piled anywhere and everywhere. Machines were at a continual clip moving brick and stone from vertical to horizontal. Once there, diligent workers busily loaded mule drawn carts with the salvage, leaving behind the sand, garbage, and dust. Later crews would begin moving that particulate into piles, arranged by color, or texture, or party affiliation. Where construction had begun on a new project, rubble piles stood taller, where no work was to be done, massive signs, billboards, and marquees had been erected, protecting the cabbie’s from the unsightly wastelands beyond their path. From atop the people’s labor memorial acres of demolished housing could be seen. Piles stacked larger than the houses that once stood there. This was the epicenter of rubble. They were masters of this art and we were reminded of it along every path we took.

A bit of confusion with direction led us North instead of West, another early left turn helped us avoid the central park we’d been looking for and almost landed all three of us in the hospital or morgue when a 3x3 m pieces of steep was dropped from a roof top onto our path 3 seconds prior to our estimated arrival. This was followed by a brief, yet valuable, pow-wow among the workers on technique. I hope next time they’ll have their timing down. We made the collective decision to cross the street and ducked into a market where we made a stop in the restroom. This absolutely ruined Becci when she (and the rest of the female population) exercised their right to take a break in an open arena of pit toilets. Embarrassment is an understatement for the look that had washed over her face as she stepped back into ‘public.‘ Obviously there are different definitions of the word in England.

We continued toward down town from the market place and the city presented it’s hidden jewl of a river walk. Complete with small play grounds, bridges, and rubble-free walks, we enjoyed the quiet of the pathway which sat 10 m lower than the road ways. Covered in beautiful willow like trees, we all basked in our individual visions of spring along the river. None of us looked to closely at the water or the structures, working to maintain the sense of peace we’d arrived at. The river dropped us down town and we popped back up into the building-filled wasteland of banks and partially destroyed high rises. One such structure maintained to the north an facade-less fire stained window free persona. The exposed reinforcing metal curled and twisted from under shattered concrete walls, floors, and support beams. From the north, this building was clearly the location of a recent explosion, however, from the East, show owners casually maintained the locks on their doors, the lights in their windows, and entertained the customers that kept them afloat and yet, from the South there was the presence of a yellow tractor actively deconstructing. In amazement we pondered this situation, but for fear of unearthing some national secret and compromising our visa we continued along, wiping the scene from our faces. Our eyes shared around our residual amazement.

Ahead of us stood a grand monument, we knew we had arrived at the central square, found a coffee shop and took five. A bit more walking downtown we found the rubble was significantly more difficult to find and after a bit of exploring in the urban center, we hopped a cab back to the apartment where we’d detox and share our day with one another. A bottle of russian vodka helped the process along. Shortly after we were notified of more friends in our lobby. We popped down where we were greeted by several foreigners equipped with a beers for everyone. Now it was getting serious. Into a cab and off to eat.

Dinner was somewhat trivial. Consisting of mostly general introductions and vague conversation, all ten of us sat around a large table in a private room and ordered cases of beer and dozens of plates of food, which was all rendered onto a lazy-susan and passed about, however, with a 4-1 foreign-familiar ratio the requisite conversation skill and willpower is great. Fortunately, the conclusion of dinner delivered us to a bar, where upon foosball was played and our friendships were made true. A significant loss to some unskilled local players seriously deflated my energetic-alcoholic high and I sat down for a bit pouting and rationalizing my anger at the loss, blaming my partner/new found enemy for his shotty defense. I soon returned to reality, forgot the loss, though not completely, and shouted conversational English over the blaring Beatles turned Biggy. While not significant, conversations were a bit more intimate and meaningful and the chairs were certainly more comfortable. Dan was given directions on the back of a bank note for the following day’s activities and we played a short round of darts. Most of our new friends ended the night there as we followed a minority off into the darkness to see the “real” night life of Ji’nan with yet another group of new folks.

Into a taxi and across town we pop out at the cross roads of highways perched hundreds of feet above. The lot is dark and there is the barren doors of an underground market, the blackness inside is overwhelming even in the dead of the night. We find one open door and walk through several more doorways, created to prevent the winds from wrecking the hustle and bustle of this presumably once thriving center. Now, it’s empty. I’m not sure why anyone ever assumed there’d be a bar someplace in this abyss, but around one corner shown a little light and low and behold there - in the depths of a deserted underground market place was a posh, overpriced, Che themed bar where we proceeded to find a gaggle of ex-pats and mojitos priced at 15 US. We had one drink and moved on - again.

I was beginning to get a bit frustrated with the perception of my willingness to be mobile. In this case I was happy to escape the clutches of this remote drink barron who’s prices did not reflect the in drink quality.

Across the lot and a bit backwards we looked up at a sign, illuminated in neon and pink (what is that, hydrogen?) which said “Cinderella's” A few taxis sat quietly outside and we popped in, this was going to be our last stop and our hosts were excited. My feet were already dragging and my speech was just about to catch up at the last bar.

We paid some nutty cover and checked our coats, passed through a metal detector, and were awarded with one Heineken each for our participation. This did not please me - I attempted to trade in my valuable green bottle for a smaller glass of gin and tonic, but in order to save face, the wait staff would have nothing of my English monkeying. We entered the dance floor.

Dudes. Electronic beats. Dudes. A bouncing dance floor. Dudes. A pole. Two ladies. Dudes. Go-Go dancers. and you guessed it. Dudes.

I pushed out onto the dance floor in an attempt to get kicked out and thus get into bed sooner. Rhythmically I was vertically plussed and minused, and my beer was significantly ruined. I used it to move people out of the way and ventured to the podium. I didn’t feel welcome on the moving floor. Perhaps it was my shoes. The beer spear cleared a path and I set it down on some dude’s table.

Up a couple of steps to where the poll and podium were, I had a bit of dance and spent the remaining few hours trying to convince dudes I didn’t want to dance with them. A few ladies came by to see the foreign circus dancers but wanted nothing to do with the scene or the other dudes. With smoke filled lungs we collected our things and found a cab back to the hotel. A bit of a ruckus in the revolving door prompted a reprimand from the hotel staff. We had enjoyed quite a long day, I didn’t look forward to waking up.

Traffic along the road we were on was quite obnoxious and prompted the arrival of Tuesday in our bedroom. A shower and five independent attempts at cleaning out my mouth with a number of tools and techniques started my day. Wednesday.

A great deal of our previous day’s actives stemmed from the fictitious plot of tracking our passports, which were pre-ported to be here in Ji’nan. Using up all the memory on my camera I had shot nearly 40 videos of scenes throughout the city. Now, we were on our way to actually receiving our passports. We hopped a cab and with a Chinese host, traveled to the police station where we dutifully stood in line, sat before and officer, answered a question, signed our name, took a photo, and then left. The remarkable part was we still had not received our passports back. Confused a bit we attempted to begin a line of questioning with our host, however once the answers became deadened, we decided to wait for Matthew’s highly non-scientific, but greatly-rewarding answers.

A bit of breakfast, and a stop by the room for goods, we slung ourselves at a massive hotel we had seen the night previous. Atop the signage for this was a neon ping-pong paddle and a moving ball. Close... far... close... far... hypnotic. It drew me in. The floor was marble with etching of paddles and balls all about. The walls were covered in photos and paraphernalia and in the center of the lobby stood a beautifully clean and heavy table. What kind of hotel is this!?! I was seriously confused. Dan’s skillful language tricks put us onto an elevator headed for the sixth floor where we, by way of narrow dark hallways arrived at a gymnasium full of tables. Wide eyed we paid our fee and stepped down to play. Initially only one other couple shared the space with us, but by the time our hour was up, the room was filled with the hypnotic sound of dozens of little white balls plinking and ponging about. It was wonderful. We left substantially full and dropped in next door for some expensive coffee and a break from the hustle and rubble of the city.

Back outside we reevaluated the true significance of the city rubble. Believe me, please. This is Ji’nan, rubble. Without it, what would fill the space between? We saw buildings ready for destruction next to clean lots ready for filling. Shovels. Oh shovels. You weren’t anybody unless you wielded a flat-nosed shovel. Carts full of rubble, trucks full of rubble, tractors making lots full of rubble, guards protecting the rubble, workers painting the signs, hanging the flags, adjusting the lights, that protected, celebrated, and enhanced the glory of the rubble. As we gawked at the, now grandiose, rubble we considered what luck we have if Hohhot were to be such a pinnacle of the worker and his value.

We created a goal to find a dumpling snack before returning to the hotel to begin another feared night of heaving drinking. After two hours of walking Dan gave his ultimatum of one more block, upon which a snack shop was spotted and we dinned. After we hailed a cab and refreshed and regrouped at the hotel whereupon we all promptly fell asleep.

Late to dinner we were in for a mess of a night. We caught the group at a western food chain called Jenny’s where they’d gobbled up piles of burgers and fries (chips) and beer and we awkwardly assumed the seats of the three individuals who were out having a smoke. No sooner had we sat we were ushered up and out and onto the next bar.

Wei-Wei’s - noted by some as “shandongs famous bald headed bbq gangster” this fellow was one of the most abusive patrons of the English language. But he, his wife, and mother served beer by the boxes, as well as delicious amounts of stick-meat and stick-bread and regardless of our previous disposition we were now ready to see this night through. Wei-wei’s filled up quickly with ex-pats and a couple of drunk locals and before we knew what was happening the table was full of empty liter bottles and we were paying the bill getting into a cab and heading off to the next place.

Per our previous night, all rational people had since left for bed and we were again one-third the size we started. We popped into a dead bar with a dart-board but no darts, a foosball table, but not balls, and drinks with no quality. Our time there was limited by how fast one could put down an ounce of gin and we were off again. By now I had forsaken direction and control of the night and when we arrived at a hotel I was curious, but I can’t say I was surprised. As I stood by it seemed we were all checking in and were then shown to our room on the first floor. Low and behold we’d come to KTV.

KTV - for those of you playing the home game - is what they call karaoke bars here. Frequently these establishments are where you host private parties and therefore you are presented with a room, your own TV, set of microphones, a door, and a wait staff who is remarkably prompt once the button is pushed.

Within minutes after we had arrived and were shown to our room I had introduced myself to all of the other parties present, received beer from each one, and invited them ALL back to our room, which by the time I arrived back was plenty well stocked it’s self. This night was not going to end quickly - (I learned later we had the room from 12:00 AM until 6:00 AM.)

.......aside from the participants, room size, and the foreign menu, this was no different than any other karaoke event. And thus I ruled at it. Making guest appearances across the establishment, I was asked to sing anything that was on. At points I was astonished at how well my interpretations of Chinese love songs was taken. As I would finish someone would shove the mic back into my face followed by a beer which they had just opened with their teeth and demand I stay. I took to inviting others into the room to distract the group while I slid out to use the rest room or recoup for a bit in our room, which by now was almost no different than the others. Beer, broken glass, odd treats, and familiar snacky foods strewn about.

“Karaoke turns people of all backgrounds and all ages back into 5 year olds. Where in stead of playing king of the hill, they vie for the glory of the microphone. Such bedlam is escalated by copious amounts of alcohol. The inevitable glee of marshaling a gaggle of one’s closest friends into the same room... ” - Dan, in reflection, putters out in exhaustion. We we asleep only after 4:30 turned over.

If I felt as if I’d been eating raw sewage the previous morning, Thursday was as if I’d had the petulance shoved down my throat via my nose and through my clenched teeth. I was not in good spirits, if not for the subtle knock from hotel staff reminding me that check-out time was near, I’d slept another 15 hours.

Dan and I put ourselves together, did a general search for Becci, who’d gone missing earlier in the morning, and then packed our things and headed toward the office. We were leaving today - we were eager to be home, there were classes to plan and digestion to mend. Justifiably disgusted by our clothes, Dan and I opted to dawn shorts for our day and travel home to Hohhot. The time of year was not indicative of short pants.

While walking through the streets in search of a lunch Dan and I reflected on the week and on our current endeavor. We laughed. As is striving to make every local second guess their sanity we significantly stuck-out. Fair skinned, goofy looking, eager to dance and free style walk, these two carried with them a tiny guitar and were wearing shorts in the winter! Perhaps I now know why I came here. Walking about the meanest of men smile and produce a thumbs up, police notify passers of the danger to traffic safety, and women of all ages shriek and swoon as we pass by or dare to enter their store-front. With every giggle, smile, and howl, we walk a little taller.

By the time we arrived into Hohhot, I must have been some eight-feet tall. Dan was in the rhythm of notifying individuals of our Alaskan roots, while I fielded the looks of astonishment with a riff on the Uke and a bit of dance.

Cold, but quite pleased, we opened our apartment door Friday morning at about 11:30 AM and came to a splendid bit of rest on the couch. Home.

In reflection we’d determined that Ji’nan is China’s city. A city of dust, dirt, people, traffic, taxis, pagodas, a lake, a mountain, bars, night life, business, smog, and of course rubble. But it maintained the standard for the national city, we were happy to be off the grid a bit, here in Inner Mongolia’s Hohhot. But really, home is what you make it and who you make it with.. I think we could have done this anywhere.

*unedited*

Weekend Face Punchers

Sun, 8 Mar 2009 14:43:07 +0800

“He punched me in the groin. Yeah.. let’s get some lunch.”

This was our first weekend teaching for the semester. With classes throughout the entire day, it’s no family picnic, though it involves many many many families. Class ages vary between 5 and 45. Needless to say we’re not stacking the 45 year olds into the 5 year old classes.

Dan and I have made a reasonable attempt at coping and rationalizing any negative emotion, buffering each with a fantastic stories of dragons, warriors, and non-substantive positive experience fallacies as well as anticipation of upcoming courses of enthusiasm and novelty. More so, I’ve found one of my classes is asking for true english experiences in debate, reading, listening, culture, etc. I’ve invited Dan to sit in on this class and help share in the fun of planning what part of the English world we’ll expose these new speakers to. - we’re thinking The Economist, Wikipedia, Fitzgearld, and Notorious B.I.G.

In the mean time, while the office is used by many for prep work and serious planning, Dan and I have found much joy in the simple task of classroom detox, pranking the English, sharing cookies, and loading up with squeaky toys to put into our pockets for classroom fun.

Starting Friday Dan and I have been sacked with tasks, planning, and a break here and there for a beer or some Oreos. After today’s last class we’ll seek out a local German bar to throw back some imported wine (we’ve quickly become friends with the owner) and then it’s off to Jinan to take care of governmental visa work and a bit of touring on the Company.

Teaching -> Taught & Soccer Ball

Thu, 5 Mar 2009 18:00:20 +0800

We have a new resident in the apartment. A Chinese size 5 soccer ball.

I’ve now officially taught my first class, an elementary adult class where I passed along such great words as ‘occupation,’ ‘Lawyer,’ ‘Structural Engineer,’ and ‘cardiopulmonary resuscitation.’

Good People

Tue, 3 Mar 2009 18:53:32 +0800

So happy together - we’ll take a photo at the end to see who’s still smiling. After the photo it was down to business working out the details of training and teaching. I don’t think it’s going to be too bad. After all I know the material, right?

We’ll see, first class is tomorrow at 6:00 PM. My first test.

-oh, and Dan feels tropical.

First Days - Training

Tue, 3 Mar 2009 18:28:45 +0800

Snow continues to fall throughout the day leaving a beautiful white layer across the otherwise grey footed city. Here’s a short view of snow falling after we accomplish our shopping tasks for the day. Tomorrow we begin our training with Matthew.

concise - enjoy

Cell Phones & Falling Snow

Sun, 1 Mar 2009 10:47:53 +0800

Yesterday we enjoyed our first day of classroom time. It was observations with a bit of interaction and ranged from 5 year-olds to adults. It was interesting to see the techniques for forcing language down someone’s throat in hopes that it will come back up within moments. The whole day was quite informational and gave Dan and I a good amount to chew on before starting our teaching next week.

I finally picked up a cell phone and sim-card and now I can leave the nest without fear of never seeing anyone again. Though it’s quite difficult to return to the standard black and white candy bar phone after using a smart phone for the past year and a half. Especially since it’s in Chinese... at least until I changed the language settings.

I’m not really sure what I’m charged for, but if anyone needs to get a hold of me - 150........... I’ll get it to you later.

This morning, bright and early, a rally woke me up. It was refreshing. A peek out the window showed no crowds but lovely falling snow. I guess it’s going to be a cold one today.

A Night For Firsts

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 00:03:24 +0800

Looking for beers after a great meal at ‘the local joint’ and we find ourselves here.

We duck into the only place that doesn’t seem to be Muslim, across from the hotel Becci is staying in, and the first two characters in it’s sign are Tea and Beer.. Not a bad start.

Oddly enough we walk in to find the receptionists desk surrounded by a series of small cubicles with tables and chairs and men and women in them... it becomes clear to me, this isn’t the place to be. I’m third inside and Dan is negotiating with the ‘bartender.’ I follow upstairs as I look about at the gentlemen sitting about the tables within the cubicles. This place is far from social. Up a series of stairs and past a bathroom with a sink full of brown liquid and to our room. No knob, no lock, just a hole with some twisted metal.

Inside the ceiling is covered in holiday paper, there is a set of four chairs around a plain table, a t.v. in the corner and a fan above it pointing downward toward the simple bed in the corner. A glance about the room indicates we’re all on the same page now.

What have we done?

Neighborhood Blasts

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:34:15 +0800

Punk ass kids.

Firecrackers are accessible, fun, and LOUD. Our courtyard, four stories down, is a bit of an attractive nuisance for such neighborhood thrills. It seems the name of the game is get all the car alarms in the block to go off, wait, then do it again. Not bad fun if you’re the one lighting the fuse, but someone get me a air rifle, because I’m the guy sleeping with thin windows upstairs.

1st Kitchen Cooked Meal

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:04:31 +0800

A collection of brand new spices & oils, a collection of dilapidated cooking equipment, including a wok without a handle and no pots to speak of, and a bundle of fresh ingredients we picked up on the street for about $2 USD, here is the adventure and the risk of cooking at home in a foreign place.

I’d consider it a success.

Welcome to Our Apartment

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 15:28:28 +0800

On our first day ‘home’ we give a quick look at the general layout of our abode. Dan gives the comprehensive tour.

While things didn’t seem too ‘complete’ when we arrived, we’ve slowly begun to fill the house with our own character. Starting in the kitchen, we’re working on floor and wall treatments and will hopefully have some plants and perhaps a turtle in the short future.

Updates will obviously be published.

Photos from Harbin, China

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:55:31 +0800

Photos, not yet annotated, represent a good portion of the activities we enjoyed in Harbin. Thanks to Dan for some of the great shots he got with his Cannon SLR. (word to visitors - operating temperatures of many cameras is between 0’ C and 30’ C. Cuidado)

The Ice Palaces

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 15:27:02 +0800

Ice.

Blocks of Ice. Piled high. Filled with fluorescents. Designed with slides. This is one fantastic playground! I don’t think I’ve had so much fun running around hand-made ice-structures in my life (granted I don’t know if I’ve ever run around hand-made ice-structures before). This was great and every slide was a blast. Solo, standing, belly first, down sides that were chest high or slides that came down from four stories up. The end was always the same; full boar into a pile of light fluffy powder. If you were lucky your face would be covered and you’d get a good laugh from everyone around as you brushed it off and ran back up the stairs. Though you were cold, bone chilled, you teeth hurt it was so cold, there was never a moment without a smile and a laugh and a let’s do it again!

Thank you Harbin!

Italians vs. Tigers

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 15:26:59 +0800

Why is it that I now have a bold distaste for Italians?

I’ve had some great experiences in their country, met neat individuals outside of it, and then you meet some obnoxious fools and it ruins your whole perspective. Disrespectful of the people, the animals, and the general rules for life, I don’t think they were ever told to not tease their pets. Perhaps they’ll never learn. Perhaps next time there won’t be such a substantial cage around their dumb-dumb brains.

Tiger Expedition

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 15:26:57 +0800

Even though they’re still in a cage where they’re gawked and taunted - albeit a really big cage - it was somewhat assuring to see China providing for these fascinating animals. Separated into types, each cage was a couple acres in size, enough that our bus could drive about in each one for roughly five-minutes. Within, the tigers banded together and sat, sans-purpose watching the busses drive by and waiting for the food-jeep to arrive. Every once in a while one would stand up and walk about, putting on a little show for the local and foreign passengers of the tour.

Maybe one day the Ligers will organize and hop the fences that hold them captive so they too may have a look at the other attractions of Harbin.

Harbin Layer Breakdown

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 17:57:07 +0800

With -16’C temperatures in Harbin, China we needed to load on the cold weather layers. Discussion turned bet, bet turned hilarity, hilarity makes good video, good video makes for beers all around.

watch for Dan..

Ice Skating Introduction

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 15:26:53 +0800

Cold.

I suppose growing up in Southern California and then moving to Arid Arizona, ice, snow, and cold weather in general is quite a striking environmental condition. The novelty ranks with such greats as bacon on ice cream and getting a job. Through out our stay in Harbin, this naiveté helped to make the weekend stay significantly brighter in my mind and experiences. Even though a step outside wreaked havoc on your nose, the warm blood rushing to my face for large smiles and laughter made up for it all.

Snow - it’s still a funny thing.

Open My Beer!

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 14:09:38 +0800

Beer in China

A safety food for any foreign country, beer is processed to the point of sanitation (almost guaranteed) so we choose it to drink and drink often. Unfortunately, China is unlike The States and Europe where choice means unique. In this land of equality, choice means uniformity and so when it comes to the green bottle you can be assured mediocracy. But for RMB2.5 (roughly 40 cents USD) a bottle, you’re doing alright.